Twilight Associations
by EdwardCorvin17
Summary: Do you think that you can make a Twilight association out of anything? I mean, anything? Here's my attempt and your attempts to relate all topics to something Twilight-related. Very reader-involved! :
1. Preliminaries

A/N: Do you think that you can make a Twilight association out of anything? I mean, _anything_? Each chapter will contain three different topics that I'll try to make as many Twilight references from, and I'll try to make them as funny as possible. At the end of the chapter, I'll choose three new topics for the next chapter. In reviews, you can make _your_ associations for the upcoming topics and I'll put them in the next chapter with your username. As well as making Twilight references, you can suggest another chapter's topics! Anyway, I hope you enjoy this!

NEXT CHAPTER'S TOPICS:

Cookies

Toilets

Bananas

I'll try to update daily, or at least very frequently. Thanks for checking this out, and I hope that you'll join me with this!


	2. Cookies, Toilets, and Bananas

A/N: This is actually a lot of fun, especially reading the responses that I've gotten. Twilight isn't mine, but the idea for this fan fiction is!

Cookies, Toilets, and Bananas

Cookies:

Lacey948: Emily actually baked muffins in New Moon (I had to ask a friend about this

one), and muffins are baked, just like cookies.

Vampire chaud: Bella cooking

The fan fiction "Wide Awake"

Dog treats for Mike and Jacob (Mike as the golden retriever)

Emmett and Alice (giving a little kid a cookie, like shopping)

Bellaedward17: Bella's love for cooking

Author: James saying "You brought a snack!"

Toilets:

Lacey948: Human moments!

Vampire chaud: Werewolves not using them

Esme redecorating a bathroom

Bella sharing a bathroom with Charlie

Edward and Jasper staying away from the school bathrooms in order to not hear

or feel anything

Twichild369: Things vampires have no use for

Jom104: Rosalie helping Bella use the restroom while pregnant

Bellaedward17: Bella cleaning, more specifically: cleaning the toilet

Author: Bella and Mike sick in New Moon

Bananas:

Tanya: Bananas? I like bananas. Especially sparkly ones. Who doesn't like bananas? Even guys like certain bananas *coughEdwardcough*! I'm a succubus, why wouldn't I like bananas?

Lacey948: Yellow, like Alice's Porsche

Vampire chaud: Bella cooking

Being forced to eat cafeteria food to keep up appearances

The fan fiction "Cullenary Sex Ed" with Mike and Emmett

Color of Lauren's hair

Color of graduation gowns and caps

Bellaedward17: Similar to the color gold—vegetarian vampire eye color

Author: Similar shape to a…glitter stick?

NEXT TOPICS:

Wheelchair

CD

Peace

A/N: It's not too late to respond to this chapter's topics…If I get more responses, I'll repost them! Thanks for reading (if you can consider this reading)! Please send me some associations to the next three topics for the next chapter!


	3. Wheelchairs, CD's, and Peace

**Wheelchairs, Cd's, and Peace**

**Wheelchairs:**

**Lacey948:**

Billy

Bella being in the hospital nearly twice a month : )

Carlisle working at a hospital

**Sunshine Vampire:**

Billy, once again

It's easy to imagine Emmett stealing one… :D

**Twichild369:**

Billy was crippled by diabetes, and must be in a wheelchair

**seventeenforeverandever:**

Billy, obviously

Charlie would have loved to put Edward in one

Bella would have needed one after the incident in Phoenix

**Author:**

Something Edward would have loved to condemn Jacob to, and vice versa

A nicer vehicle than Jake's car (just kiddin'…who doesn't love a home-made VW Rabbit? Though I must say, in comparison to a Volvo or Mercedes...)

**CD's**

**Lacey948:**

The CD Bella falls asleep listening to in Twilight, given to her by Phil

**Sunshine Vampire:**

Edward's massive collection of music

CD Edward made Bella of his music, but then hid when he left

**seventeenforeverandever:**

Clair de Lune playing in Edward's car

CD that Bella and Edward both have of Linkin Park

CD Edward made Bella

**Author:**

Alice deciding whether to educate the other kids' music tastes or to give them what they're comfortable with at the graduation party in Eclipse

Bella: "You have so much music." and "What are you listening to?"

**Peace**

**Lacey948:**

"I don't even know if that word was used in the books... ever." (I found this statement kind of funny, haha!)

**Sunshine vampire:**

The veggie vampires just want peace with the Volturi and the

Nomads

**seventeenforeverandever:**

The lack of it in the series

How Breaking Dawn ends

There's never peace and quiet in a house full of vampires with super hearing, especially when some of those vampires can read your mind or see what you're going to do before you do it

**Author:**

The peace treaty between the vamps and the wolves

The song "Treaty" on the score to the movie

Peace relates to piece, which relates to pie, which relates to Pi, which makes me think "Yes…no…to get to the other side…1.7724"

Rob in the commentary: "Come on guys, let's be civil." in reference to the Port Angeles scene with the Frat Boys

**NEXT TOPICS:**

Shoes

Pictures

Television

**A/N: Once again, thanks for reading! I'd like to say again that if you missed a previous topic, just leave your response in a review and I'll re-post. If anyone has a topic idea, please tell me…it's harder than you think to come up with good random ideas!**


	4. Shoes, Pictures, and TV

**SHOES, PICTURES, AND TELEVISION**

**From Chapter 3:**

**da bomber aka vampire chaud:**

**Wheelchair:**

I needed one after reading the part in NM where Edward leaves because I was so incapacitated.

Stephenie Meyer put JK Rowling in one with her kickass books.

**CD:**

Bella's perssonal vendetta against them in NM.

SM's obsession with Hybrid Theory while writing Twilight.

CD stands for Cullen Delusion, which many fans suffer from when they actually believe that they are part of the family.

CD also stand for Cullen Deliciousness, because they can beat Fergie any day.

**Peace:**

Bella's peace while drowning in NM.

Lack of it at twilight conventions.

"Gimme a piece, gimme a piece, gimme a piece of that Cullen Boy." (like Kit-Kat commercial)

**SHOES:**

**Lacey948:**

When Alice is forcing Bella to wear heels (i.e. prom- only one though-, wedding, transformation. Actually, when was Bella permitted to choose her own stinking shoes?)

Oh, and we can't forget how all those adorable wolves busted out of about every pair they owned.

And how Bella tripped over hers'... often.

**Seventeenforeverandever:**

Jake is always busting them up as a werewolf  
Alice tries to force Bella into deathtrap shoes

**:**

Alice.  
Nikki Reed had to wear 6 inch heels in the Twilight movie so she was tall enough.

**Twichild369:**

Alice loves shoes**.**

**Vampire chaud:**

"Bella, let's get some shoes!" (Youtube vid)  
Bella wanted to throw some at Jessica's head when they went shopping in Port Angeles.  
It's what James REALLY wanted from Bella.  
Victoria seriously needs them in the movie.  
Jasper's cowboy boots...under my bed (jk, I know he's yours, but we can share).

**Author:**

Bella chucking her heels back into the house after leaving to go hunting with Edward

Twilight style converses: .com/image/twilight/modollnoel/il_

**PICTURES:**

**Lacey948:**

Bella gets a camera for graduation

Edward hides all the pictures

The picture of Charlie and Renee getting married

Nessie's freaky little brain pictures.

**Seventeenforeverandever:**

Bella's fear that Edward won't show up in them.

The pictures Edward hid when he left.

**:**

Renesmee can create pictures in peoples' mind.  
Zafrina can create pictures in peoples' minds, sort of.

**Twichild369:**

Edward stored Bella's birthday pictures under her floorboards.

**Vampire chaud:**

The mental pictures caused by reading these books...yummy.  
The drool that escapes my mouth when I see new cast pictures.  
Fawesome fanart.

**Author:**

Picture of a wolf that hangs in Bella's room in the movie.

Graduation cap-art.

Picturesque land around Forks, as well as the Cullen house.

I have many of Edward hanging on my bedroom walls…*glazed stare*

**TELEVISION:**

**Lacey948:**

Charlie's always watching it

Bella doesn't like it much

Jasper and Alice watch it in the hotel room in Twilight

Emmett and Charlie watching the game in Breaking Dawn

Edward and Bella watching Romeo and Juliet in New Moon.

**Seventeenforeverandever:**

When the family decides to make Bella a vampire, Edward breaks their new TV from Korea.  
Charlie is always watching it.

**:**

'We're here to visit your flat screen.' - Billy Black, Twilight movie.  
Charlie watches the TV A LOT.  
The Cullens often pretend to watch tv when a guest, i.e. Charlie, is over in an attempt to appear more human.

**Twichild369:**

In Breaking Dawn, during Charlie's visit, Emmett is watching tv when he yells 'GO GATORS! It's about time someone scored around here.'

**Vampire chaud:**

My squeals when I see ads for the movie.  
Jackson's performance on Criminal Minds (did that turn you bi for Amanda or what?)  
How no movie or television star can ever match the perfection that is the Cullens.

**Author:**

The ballet studio scene playing on most of the TV's seen in the movie.

Twilight's the DVD that plays on my TV all the time.

Twilight Vampires…TV!

**NEXT TOPICS:**

Playgrounds

Breakfast cereal

Clocks


	5. Playgrounds, Breakfast Cereal, and Clock

**PLAYGROUNDS, BREAKFAST CEREAL, AND CLOCKS**

**Playgrounds:**

**Lacey948:**

I was thinking that Jacob and Bella sat on one but that's wrong. They sit on a stupid tree. Hmm, I'm stumped. Ha ha, get it? Tree, stumped. Yeah...

**seventeenforeverandever:**

Jake went to one in Edward's Vanquish to try and imprint on some random girl.  
Rose and Em probably have some sort of sex playground in the house.

**Twichild359:**

What Nessie will be playing on soon.

**Vampire chaud:**

is our Twilight playground  
Emmett and Rose can turn any house into a 'playground.'  
Bella got hurt on them as a child.  
The chessboard is the mental playground between Edward and Alice.  
Even vampires can be let loose on a baseball playground.

**Author:**

I can see Emmett on a swing…flying off when it is at its highest point…yeah.

Can you imagine what a playground designed by Alice would look like?

Emmett and monkey bars. Enough said. (Providing he wouldn't break them, that is.)

All dog poop must be picked up from a public playground, Jake!

**Breakfast Cereal:**

**Lacey948:**

Bella eats it in Twilight.

During the Twilight movie the dude that played Carlisle convinced SM that he had been eating cereal during his lines. She thought that they would have to re-tape all of them. It was April Fool's day.

**seventeenforeverandever:**

"Well, it's no irritable grizzly."  
I think we need a Cullen Crunchies cereal or something. Everyone would buy it.

**Twichild369:**

What Bella eats when Edward says 'Breakfast time for the human!"

**Vampire chaud:**

Delicious.  
Alice would have liked Fruit Loops as a kid.  
Siobhan surely was a "Lucky Charm" for the veggies.  
Rosalie needs some Koshi Go Lean Crunch (fiber anyone?)

**Author:**

Count Chocula!

Oatmeal is cereal, so for the Cullens, drinking an animal for breakfast in akin to eating plain oatmeal for breakfast, instead of a fancy breakfast plate.

**Clocks:**

**Lacey948:**

Bella's time is up. All the time. Todos los dias. Every day. She's a walking time-bomb. More like stumbling time-bomb, I suppose but I think you get the picture.

**seventeenforeverandever:**

How vampires really have no need for one and if they were really bored, they could sit there and watch it.  
Clocks are for telling time and Jake worries when his time with human Bella will be up.

**Twichild369:** They don't have an internal clock that tells them to grow older

**Vampire chaud:**

song on the Eclipse playlist.  
All the vampires are always racing against it after Bella came into their previously stagnant lives.  
Twi-hards have their noses glued to the countdown tickers.  
The clock often shows a very late hour when I am doing Twi-stuff (or homework).

**Author:**

"Time is Running Out" by Muse on the Twilight playlist.

Damn. Everything else good had already been said!

**NEXT TOPICS:**

Sports

The letter "F"

Pencils


	6. Sports, F, and Pencils

**SPORTS, "F", AND PENCILS**

**From Chapter 2:**

**reeeding foool:**

Wheelchair: billy is in a wheelchair

CD's: Edward and Phil's cd

Peace: Breaking Dawn ends in peace.

**LadyAlera:**

Wheelchair: Billy Black

CD: Clair de Lune

Peace: Bella is a Virgo (Switzerland)

**SPORTS:**

**Lacey948:**

If Twilight Trivia was a sport I'd be pretty hardcore-awesome.

Is fishing a sport?

I'm thinking there was some Indian leg wrestling in the movie. (Which by the way is the funniest thing ever. You don't even know.)  
Charlie is a sports fiend.

Vampire baseball anyone?

**seventeenforeverandever:**

Emmett saying "About time someone scored around here!" while watching football during Charlie's first visit to the house.  
Vampire baseball. =)

**Sunshine Vampire:**

Baseball "The Great American pastime"

Charlie always watching games  
Bella's been participating in some extreme sports--cliff diving

**LadyAlera:**

Cliff-diving

Baseball

Tracking

Motorcycle riding

Swimming

**Twichild369:**

Emmett looks like a football player.

**Vampire chaud:**

The vampires could win any Olympic event.  
Jake considers entering the Olympics when he's running in one of the books.  
Bella sucks (hehe) at them.  
Edward is fast, remember? (Oh, do I ever *wink, wink*)  
Emmett and Rosalie take the gold medal in the sport of Home Demolition.  
Jake is a pretty bad sport when he loses. So is Emmett.

**Author:**

Arm wrestling!

Any of the Cullens could be racecar drivers.

Nessie could play polo while riding on Jake (in wolf form, of course!) Jake can swim…the doggy paddle!

Is fishing considered a sport?

**THE LETTER "F"**

**Lacey948: **

Hmm, I'm 15 and that book has more sexual tension than the PDA couple during school hours... what could the letter "f" stand for? Ha ha.  
FAWESOME, that's what.

**Seventeenforeverandever:**

What Em and Rose do a lot.  
Reminds me of the fic, "Alphabet Weekends"

**Sunshine Vampire:** fantastic, fabulous, Fan fiction, fanpire, fantasy, fictional (it cut deep to put that in there)

**LadyAlera:** Funny brother (Emmett)

**Twichild369:** Edward f*cks Bella in BD

**Vampire chaud:**

Hm, what could we do here?  
Something the Cullen's never got on tests.  
Ferrari, fear, fantasy, Forever Dawn, Felix, fascination, food (vamps don't need), future (never concrete), foolishness (Bella...)  
Something all the vampire couples like to do...f...

**Author:**

Fangtastic! Forks! Facinelli, Peter (Carlisle). Fanning, Dakota (Jane).

If he were a human, Emmett would be quite _flatulent_.

Fleas (_Jacob!). _Feathers. Furry (wolves). Falling (Bella). Forests. Fans (us). Fragile (Bella). Fire (& Ice). Fangs. Freaky Virgos. Freezing (skin).

**PENCILS:**

**Lacey948:**

Did you stab him with a pencil? Yeah, but everyone's going to say that. Hmm, Jake keeps breaking the ink pens in the first chapter of Eclipse but  
that doesn't really count. (Eh, close enough. I had trouble coming up with anything, too, and mine sucks worse than an evil vampire.)

**Seventeenforeverandever:**

Edward probably broke a lot of those in Biology after meeting Bella.  
Edward also probably wished his history with Bella was written in pencil at the beginning of New Moon so he could erase it.

**Futureauthor62:**

Don't give Emmett a pencil. People could get seriously injured…

**Sunshine Vampire:**

"Did you stab Edward Cullen with a pencil or what?  
Didn't Edward break a pencil? Or am I getting fanfic and the real thing mixed up again? (Uhh…either it is in the book, or we both read that fanfic. :)

**LadyAlera:** So did you stab Edward Cullen with a pencil or what?

**Twichild369:** Mike Newton asks Bella if she stabbed Edward with a pencil or something

**Vampire chaud:**

"Did you stab him with a pencil or what?"  
Rose can pass the pencil test.  
Dogs chew on them.  
I think Bella had one in her bun at one point in Twilight.

**Author:** Pencil…lead…element…biology class!

**NEXT TOPICS:**

Birds

Paper towels

Snow

**A/N: I would have updated last night, and I thought I did…until I checked and couldn't because I was on my Mac laptop. Anyway, what has been your favorite topic or response so far?**


	7. Birds, Paper Towels, and Snow

**BIRDS, PAPER TOWELS, AND SNOW**

**Birds:**

**Lacey948:**

Hmm, I don't even know dude. Hawks remind me of Indians but this may be the jankest one I've ever thought of. Oh, and how she lives in PHOENIX. Get it? Like the bird?

**Seventeenforeverandever:**

All the Cullens are graceful—like birds.  
I imagine Jake, Mike, Tyler, and Eric all just wanted to flip the bird at Edward.  
In the movie, Edward and Bella climb trees and get a bird's eye view of the valley.

**Twichild369:**

Jake won't chase them because he's a DOG

**Futureauthor62: **

hardly sing in Forks, but when they do, you might be in luck for a sunny day.

**Sunshine Vampire:**

Not much of a meal there.  
Bella flew like a bird until she hit water (cliff diving, I presume)  
Alice is as graceful as a bird  
The movie: the ballet scene they flew like birdies.  
And how many people can imagine Emmett doing something like chasing one, or patting one, or vampirizing one, or just wanting one as a pet, or sitting on one and squashing it;  
the list of Emmett ideas just goes on.

**Author:**

Any of the vampires' voices (females, in particular) can probably be compared to a bird's call. (That makes me think of the movie _Shrek_ and how the princess sang so high-pitched that she made the bird explode. Then I mentally compare Shrek and Emmett. Go on, think about it.)

Edward flipped Emmett the bird in the baseball scene when they fell from the sky after jumping after Carlisle's hit, I think.

**Paper towels:**

**Lacey948:**

IDK, when Bella slits her arm in New Moon and Carlisle cleans it up with gauze or something then burns it with bleach.

**Seventeenforeverandever:**

Newton probably had to wipe his finger off with one after blood typing.  
The Bounty paper towel man reminds me of Emmett. =) (You're right! I totally agree!)  
We all needed one the first time we saw Spunk—I mean Rob—in the movie to clean up the drool. (So, so true!)

**Twichild369:**

When Bella spills stuff they clean it up with a paper towel.

Also, I think when Alice drops the glass Esme cleans it up with a paper towel. There's no match for vampire strength.

**Futureauthor62:**

may be needed a lot to keep the blood under control while Edward drives Bella to the hospital... again... (haha!)

**Sunshine Vampire:**

The Cullen house probably has an old never been used pack.  
The vampires would probably be strong enough to turn a tree into paper with their own bare hands. (Never thought about that...but you're probably right!)

**Author:**

I clean up my doggy pee with paper towels…

**Snow:**

**Lacey948:**

In midnight Sun: Edward sits in the snow and thinks about Bella.

Bella falls in the snow in Twilight.

In BD it snows when the Volturi come.

**Seventeenforeverandever:**

Mike gets hit with a snowball by Tyler in Twilight.

Renesmee was playing in the snow when Irina saw her, Bella, and Jake.

The Volturi show up in Breaking Dawn when the snow is stuck to the ground.

Bella and Edward, for most of the series, are as virginally pure as the driven snow.

**Futureauthor62:**

Snow (and ice) don't help the uncoordinated.

Snow makes everyone in Forks excited and causes snowball fights, but melts away quickly.

**Twichild369:**

The Cullen's are snow white and snow cold.

**Sunshine Vampire:**

Snow is like ice, "Your skin is pale white, and ice cold."  
Snowman vampires…how cool would that be? (Very awesome. Now you're giving me ideas for next winter!)  
Again, snow is like ice, and Bella slips in ice.  
They have snow white skin.

**Author:**

In the movie, when Bella is nearly dying, one of the small shots is of her lying on the ground beside Edward in the snow.

I imagine that the vampires sparkled like snow sparkles in light, not how the CGI sparkle effects did it in the movie.

Is great until it melts in your socks.

**NEXT TOPICS:**

Jewels/Gemstones

Pajamas

Horses


	8. JewelsGemstones, Pajamas, and Horses

**JEWELS/GEMSTONES, PAJAMAS, AND HORSES**

**From chapter 6:**

**Vampire chaud**

**Birds:**

Emmett feels the need to tease Edward about those and bees (Birds and the Bees)

Alice's Porsche is canary yellow.

Alice's baseball pitches could totally make any bird that got in the way explode! (like the pro guy did during a game)

**Paper towels:**

Used to clean up after the dog  
Used to clean up after the Bella Hurricane ( she moves her body like a cyclone... )  
Bella cooking in the kitchen.  
Does Charlie even know how to use them?

**Snow:**

The color of vampire skin  
In Midnight Sun, Edward gets all moody and lies in a snow drift in Alaska while having a heart to heart with Tanya (sorry for the spoiler)  
Bella hates it.  
Stephenie Meyer never gets to see it.

**Jewels/Gemstones:**

**Futureauthor62:**

The ring Edward gives Bella when they finally get engaged has a beautiful gemstone inside.

**Seventeenforeverandever:**

Bella's favorite was garnet until Edward asks her in Twilight and all of a sudden, it's topaz.

In the story, "Firsts", Edward gives Bella a ring with the birthstone of the baby they lost in it.

Aro's gift to Bella that makes Jane all tingly inside.

**Sunshine Vampire:**

DIAMONDS! SPARKLY!  
I always imagined the vampires sparkling like diamonds  
"What's your favourite?" "Topaz, but if you had asked me a few weeks ago it would have been (quickly referring to twilight here)(can't find it and I have hw to do so oh well)  
The diamond heart Edward gave to Bella.

Wedding ring.

**Vampire chaud:**

Vampires sparkle like them.

Edward's eyes are like onyx and topaz.

Bella hates them (wth? like who hates diamonds?)

Alice loves them.

In Family Therapy: Cullen Style (ff), Emmett gives Rose the codename of Ruby. (read that fic, hilarious)

Rob's sexy eyes shine like aquamarines...

Bella always wears the ring with the pearl and the turquoise bracelet in the movie.

**Author:**

JASPER! (the gemstone)

Jewels…jewelry…the locket Bella and Edward gave Nessie.

All the obvious answers are already taken, so I had to improvise that last one, haha. =D

**Pajamas:**

**Futureauthor62:**

Alice is always kidnapping Bella for the night or weekend and making her wear all sorts of pajamas that she would not normally wear.

**Seventeenforeverandever:**

I don't want to know what Emmett would consider pajamas.

Edward apparently likes Bella's holey pajamas.

Renesmee is always growing out of them.

**Sunshine Vampire:**

After Edward left, Bella stayed in her pyjamas.  
Vampires have limited use for pyjamas, but Alice probably buys them anyway. Bella sleeps in a holey t-shirt and old sweats.

**Vampire chaud:**

Edward is better without them.

Bella should have at least gotten some silk pajamas or something if she was really trying to make good use of that large, comfy bed. =)

Alice's ideas of pajamas are...different.

What do Charlie's look like...errant thought. (I like your errant thoughts, I really do!)

Edward was wearing them in the flashback in the movie.

**Author:**

Going on what vampire chaud said, Jasper and Emmett and Carlisle would probably look better without pajamas, too.

Hmm, if he had to wear pajamas, I can see Emmett in a pair of pajamas decorated with bananas.

**Horses:**

**Seventeenforeverandever:**

Horses remind me of a saddle purse my dear friend owns, which reminds me of the guy who likes to ride it, which reminds me of Emmett. Cause he would so do that.

The fic, "Love Ridden". (By the way, I checked out "Alphabet Weekends". OME. Very nice!)

Emmett saying 'Save a horse, ride a vampire.' Just imagine it.

Edward could dress up like a horse and win the Triple Crown. XD

**Futureauthor62:**

Horses are graceful. The Cullen's are graceful.

Seventeenforeverandever stole my idea and my purse for her idea so I had to come up with something else but said I would mention her. And, I agree with her though, I can DEFINITELY see Emmett trying to ride a horse saddle shaped purse. =P (me too!)

**Sunshine Vampire:**

Lots of blood, not very nice though.  
A death trap for Bella.  
Cowboys ride horses. LOL Jasper.

**Vampire chaud:**

Vampires are much faster than those mundane creatures.

Save a horse ride a cowboy! (Jasper/Jackson! So sexy. So, so sexy)

Volvo's kick Mustang ass any day!

**Author:**

One Emmett-power is stronger than 1 horsepower. Next thing you know, you'll be buying 200 Emmett-power cars! More specifically, Volvos!

**NEXT TOPICS:**

Facial hair

Lingerie

Jellybeans


	9. Facial Hair, Lingerie, and Jellybeans

**FACIAL HAIR, LINGERIE, AND JELLY BEANS**

**Facial hair:**

**Twichild369:**

Vampires can't grow it. Kristen Stewart said about Robert's facial hair, after they kissed "Oh wow, I think I'm bleeding."

**Seventeenforeverandever:**

The porno stache that Charlie has in the movie. No where in the series did I ever see any mention of a porno stache so I'm confused.

None of our sexy vamp boys have any. :D

Rob's five o clock shadow is visible throughout the whole movie.

**Futureauthor62:**

None of the Cullen men will ever grow it.

**Blaxsie aka Duckie:**

Werewolves have, umm, hairy faces when they're bein' all wolfy and whatnot XD (haha!)  
Rob Pattinson lookin' smokin' with the awwesoome beardy thing!

**Vampire chaud:**

Vampires can't grow it.

Rob looks REALLY bad with it. (like, seriously, Amish much?) (OME that makes me think of the Rufus Wainwright concert last nite…apparently he's 'afraid' of the Amish. Haha. If you say he looks bad, fine... I think he looks...smexy. That's the word I want.)

Jackson looks good with it. (VERY good)

KStew also looks horrible with it. (sorry, I got no sleep last night.)

Mike Welsh looks funny with it. (hehe, he's trying to grow up)

What would happen if a werewolf grew a beard as a human? Would the hair on his muzzle just get longer? Funny mental picture.

And best of all...Charlie's 'Stache. For a forty-year-old man he sure is FINE! Normally that kind of stuff is not attractive, but Billy Burke can do anything! (Yummmmmmmm....)

**Edward's lil angel:**

Something the Cullen boys can't grow. XD

**Author:**

Umm…eyebrows! Anyone else see the commentary?

And, I know, not technically _facial_ hair, but Rob's bouffant!

**Lingerie:**

**Twichild369:**

Alice gets Bella French ones for her honeymoon.

**Seventeenforeverandever:**

Trying to seduce Edward in Breaking Dawn.  
Edward would buy midnight blue lingerie for Bella.  
Edward probably is surly all the time because Emmett is always thinking of Rose in lingerie.

**Futureauthor62:**

Alice packs it for Bella when Bella and Edward go on the honeymoon.

**Blaxsie aka Duckie:**

Oh Edward bein' all rippedy to Bella's knickerpants!! In breaking Dawn!! (I like how you put that, haha!)

**Vampire chaud:**

Alice has a penchant for the French kind.

Bella begins to see the benefits of Alice's penchant in BD. Lucky girl =(

I can only imagine what is in Rosalie's top dresser drawer. Or Emmett's.

In Parenting 101 (great fic), Edward is afraid of a zebra...print bra. Then comes the leopard print. (I know precisely what you're talking about, lol)

What was on all the Twilighters' Christmas lists 2008 (after reading BD): a large white bed, black lingerie, and Edward.

**Edward's lil angel:**

Something Alice packed entirely for Bella for the honeymoon.

**Author:**

I can just see Rose forcing Emmett to wear the lingerie, and not the other way around.

**Jelly beans:**

**Twichild369:**

Okay there's a jellybean company names Jellybelly. Jelly belly could be a nickname for Bella.

**Seventeenforeverandever:**

"Honey is for bees, silly bear, besides there are jellybeans everywhere." It's 'Lullaby' by Fall Out Boy, and I can just imagine Edward singing this to Renesmee.  
Easter at Charlie's house would be awkward because the Cullens would have to eat a few jellybeans.  
Jelly Belly Bella Bean is probably one of Emmett's nicknames for Bella.

**Futureauthor62:**

I could see Bella eating them, then dropping one on the floor, stepping on it and somehow falling over it, and Edward having to catch her.

**Blaxsie aka Duckie:**

Hmm, well I am inclined to think Bella has choked on them at some point in her childhood... or tripped on a pack, or something DISASTROUS at some point! (sounds like her!)

**Vampire chaud:**

Strawberry flavored ones are Bella's favorite. (Smart, very smart)

Blood flavored Bertie Botts' Every Flavored Beans sounds delish.

My sisters like the grape ones, which are almost onyx colored.

The lime ones are this beautiful green color...

Candy and Edward. A girl's ultimate heaven. (Yep!)

**Edward's lil angel:**

Colorful like Alice's personality. :D (Good one!)

**Author:**

For some reason, when I think of jellybeans and Twilight, I think of Rose or Alice as the 'Princess and the Pea'…being able to detect a jellybean under twenty mattresses or something.

**NEXT TOPICS:**

Chainsaws

Plastic

Feet

**A/N: Thanks for another round of hilarious responses! Welcome to all of the newcomers (Blaxsie aka Duckie and edward's lil angel)!**


	10. Chainsaws, Plastic, and Feet

**A/N: I don't normally do dedications, but this one is dedicated to Vampire chaud. Thanks to her, we have the topic "plastic"! Anyone else want to 'suggest' a topic?? =P Ooops. I thought that I had posted this chapter like last Tuesday, but vampire chaud informed me that I hadn't. Sorry about the long time between updates!**

**CHAINSAWS, PLASTIC, AND FEET**

**Chainsaws:**

**Seventeenforeverandever:**

Charlie sounds like one when he snores.

What Emmett and Jake would probably sound like if they sang while drunk.

I can imagine Emmett using his arms to chop down trees like a chainsaw. He's probably better at it than an actual chainsaw. (Agreed. Where can we rent an Emmett???)

**Twichild369:**

They won't injure a vampire.

**LadyAlera:**

I definitely can see Emmett running around with a chainsaw.  
Everyone should fear for their lives the moment Bella (human) picks up a  
chainsaw! (I agreed on both accounts, lol!)

**Vampire chaud:**

Jake snores like one.

Charlie does too.

Emmett fighting with a bear probably sounds like one too.

Even chainsaws can't kill vampires.

But Jake wishes they could.

Alice is so small she could probably use one as a vehicle.

Can't you just imagine Mike running around with one?

Jane loves them. *laugh*

Bella should not be allowed near one, even if she dressed like a lumberjack. (As if Alice would even let her!)

That brings me to Brawny man Charlie cutting down trees with one to make the best paper towels in the world! (yum. That's all I can say.)

**Blaxsie aka Duckie:**

Hm well of you punched Edward with a chainsaw it would most likely break!!

If you punched Jacob with a chainsaw, he would bleed all over the shop and then be all good again in like a minute! (Stupid, healing werewolves! :D)

If you punched Bella with a chainsaw, she would die. And then Edward would chase you with a chainsaw. (Edward chasing me=good. With a chainsaw=probably not good. Haha!)

**Author:**

As loud as Emmett's laughter.

Not as effective as vampire teeth.

**Plastic:**

**Seventeenforeverandever:**

If Edward could wrap Bella up in plastic to protect her from danger, he would do it.

In fanfics, people usually say Lauren Mallory has fake boobs, so if she became a vampire and had to return to her original state, her boobs would deflate and that would be funny.

Alice is always swiping her plastic (using her credit card) to buy more torture products for Bella.

**Twichild369:**

Can break if a vampire squeezes it too hard. (Edward could probably break it with his pinky finger! :D)

**LadyAlera:**

When Bella goes to rescue Edward, there are people all around who are wearing plastic vampire fangs. (Good one!)

I also can picture the Cullens (or Emmett at least) dressing up as stereotype

Vampires, and wearing plastic fangs. (Good thinking!)

**Vampire chaud:**

None of the Cullen women need any *cough* like I mistakenly implied...

Despite popular opinion, Rosalie's boobs are not plastic.

But Lauren's are.

Jake's shed's roof is made of plastic sheets.

**Blaxsie aka Duckie:**

Rosalie is plastic fantastic, like a Barbie doll!! (haha! Do you mind if I ask…where did you get your penname? I like it!)

**Author:**

The Cullen men may be cold and hard, but at least they're not plastic!

**Feet:**

**Seventeenforeverandever:**

Alice is like a ballerina and she's light on her feet.

Bella had two left feet until she became a vampire.

Jake's feet always rip apart his sneakers when he phases.

**Twichild369: **

Running, plain and simple.

**LadyAlera:**

Vampires can stand for hours on end and never get tired.

Bella (human) can't stand on hers for very long without tripping over something.

Vampire chaud: You never hear of Edward taking his shoes off in the books, do you? Maybe at the honeymoon...

Werewolves don't wear shoes.

Emmett's foot prints were most likely mistaken for Bigfoot's by some unfortunate hiker. (hahah!)

Vampire feet only brush the ground when they run.

Doesn't shoe size have some double meaning... (yes, yes indeed it does!)

Twilight converse shoes.

Twylyter's YouTube vid. "Alice Loves Shoes"

Bella pushes her cold feet against Jake in the sleeping bag.

**Blaxsie aka Duckie:**

Vampires have feet sometimes.

The crazy wild angry bad vampires run around all barefoot and crazy whatnot!! (haha! Do you mind if I ask…where did you get your penname? I like it!)

**Author:**

Can you imagine the stench that comes off a dirty werewolf's feet? *shudder*

Vampires could leave footprints in dry cement instead of wet, just-poured cement.

Edward's feet are good for dancing on! (reference to the prom)

**NEXT TOPICS:**

**Germs**

**The color green**

**Glass**


	11. Germs, Green, and Glass

**A/N: Can I _beg _for your forgiveness? Shame on me, I know that it has been what, almost three weeks or more since I've last posted? I do believe that I promised an update daily. *hangs head in shame* Here's a long-deserved chapter, and I hope that its worth the wait! Thanks for sticking with it/me!**

**GERMS, GREEN, AND GLASS**

**Germs:**

**Futureauthor62:**

The Cullens are not affected by them.

Mike Newton gets ill from germs spreading around in New Moon.

**Twichild369:**

No match for a vampire immune system.  
Mike Newton thinks Edwards a germ, which he's not. (LOL)  
Swine Flu is like Spanish Influenza which is what Edward had.

**Obsessionless Blaxie:**

Well, if vampires had germs... waait vampires can't get germs!! But they probably have their own special vampire germs…Wow they would be superly crazyfull like all murderous and whatnot! (WOAH! You changed your name since I last was on here!)

**Vampire chaud:**

You'll never find any in the Cullen house with Esme in charge.  
Werewolves are covered in them.  
I can imagine Angela carrying around a little bottle of hand sanitizer everywhere.  
Bella and Esme's favorite cleaner is bleach.  
Nikki had to bleach her skin and hair.

**Author:**

If vampirism was a disease, who else here would willingly catch it???

In Breaking Dawn, the Cullens lie to Charlie and tell him that Bella is sick and that's why he can't see her during what is actually her pregnancy.

**Green:**

**Futureauthor62:**

EDWARD'S EYES when he was human.  
A color seen often in the town of Forks.

**Twichild369:**

Edward's human eyes.

**Obsessionless Blaxie: **

Green is a colour. Vampires have colours.  
Edward's human eyes, and the eye colour of Bella's pretend baby in B.D!  
Forks is crazy green all the time, like all plants and forests, 24/7 to the max!!

**Vampire chaud:**

Grass in the meadow.  
Edward's gorgeous (say with Brooklyn accent) eyes.  
The entire Olympic Peninsula.  
"Everything's covered in this green, squishy stuff."  
I always fancied Jasper's human eyes to be a grey-green color, "like clouds over the restless sea..." (Princess Bride anyone?)

**Author: **

Bella wears a green shirt at some point during the movie, right?

Edward's/Rob's pea coat, which wasn't really green looking, but the word 'pea' makes me think 'green'.

I'm sure that Alice, Rose, or Esme has some kind of emerald or jade jewelry.

**Glass:**

**Futureauthor62:**

Bella's probably ended up in the ER in one way or another because of it.  
Windows are made of glass; the Cullen's home has windows along the whole back of the house.

**Twichild369:**

I think the Cullen house has a glass wall.  
I can totally see Emmett jumping through glass with his heels kicked up. It will leave an Emmett print! (hahahahaha!)

**Obsessionless Blaxie:**

In Midnight Sun (GASP! _Dark High Noon!_), Edward describes Bella's skin as being silk over glass!!  
In Twilight, Bella pretend fell out a window (glass) in Phoenix at the end all wicked crazy!  
In new moon she trips and breaks a load of glass plates so Jasper gets all... "wow Bella lets be blood buddies!" wait that made no sense. (haha, I can see where you were going with that, lol.)

**Vampire chaud:**

In MS (shame on you! you know what it's code-name is!), Edward always compares Bella to a glass figurine wrapped in satin to show how delicate she is to him.  
Glass is sort of like crystal, & Bella fell into the stack of crystal plates in NM.  
The charm that Edward gives her is "crystal."  
James really likes to throw Bella up against wall mirrors, resulting in shards flying and blood gushing.  
The song "Through Glass" by Stone Sour is what I believe Edward felt like in NM while he was struggling with himself.  
Vampire skin is smooth and glitters like glass in the sun.

(Dammit, you always say so much that I have a hard time coming up with anything to put in! =D

**Author: **

Lucky vampires. None of them have to wear glasses. *jealous sigh*

Vampires can squeeze rocks into tiny, sand-like particles. Glass is made of sand. That was a stretch, I know, lol.

**NEXT TOPICS:**

**Peanut Butter**

**Lab(s)**

**Memory**


	12. Peanut Butter, Labs, and Memory

**A/N: Sorry: work, vacations, broken ankles, and hospital visits wreak havoc on fanfictions. (Yes, that's my sorry excuse for not updating. In forever.) On the other hand, the upcoming topics will all relate to my vacation is some manner. See if you can guess how!**

**PEANUT BUTTER, LAB(S), AND MEMORY**

**PEANUT BUTTER:**

**Futureauthor62:** Charlie probably made A LOT of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches before Bella started living with him, because we all know his cooking abilities. (how true…)

**Twichild369:** No Cullen could eat it.

Alice seems like that type who eats the chocolate first, then the peanut butter like me!

If you chew and spit out a peanut butter cup it can look like dirt so if Carlisle walked up to it and said "Look, a half-chewed peanut butter cup!" and ate it he would be all like "OMC THIS TASTES LIKE DIRT! IT LOOKS LIKE IT ALSO!"

**Reeeding fool:** I congratulate anyone who thought of a legit response to this one because I am coming up empty. ( haha! I'm having the same problem now…)

**Blaxie:** Well, peanut butter has the word butter in it, and Bella puts butter on her sandwiches ( I hope, or else she's just weird)

Vampires don't eat it, coz to them it would taste cruddy!

Werewolves, on the other hand, I bet eat a ton of it coz they're like these big hairy food-eating machines, and last I checked, peanut butter is a food, therefore it is eaten by said food eating machines! (nice new name for the wolves. I like it!)

**Vampire chaud:** Dogs tend to like it a lot... (yeah, no kidding. My get frenzied when they just _smell_ it!)  
Imagine this: licking it off Jackson's fingers after making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches together before going on a picnic holding hands and swing the picnic basket around while singing Owl City songs... sorry, I haven't slept a lot. But I have dreamed... (no, ekrueg! Now I'm dreaming, too! And now I'm thinking about that day when you and I went to that certain concert…dammit!)  
During the summer that SM skipped over before NM, I bet Edward made Bella a peanut butter and banana sandwich with the banana slices as a smiley face, all in the name of having human experiences. (If you haven't had such a sandwich, go make one right now, seriously)

**Author:** Emmett would try to make peanut butter by simply pulverizing peanuts and then adding water and shaking it. (I've actually seen someone do this. It doesn't work, and ends up looking like, well, peanut shards floating in water.)

**LAB(S)**

**Futureauthor62:** The biology room where Edward and Bella met.

Also, a dog. Dog... that reminds me of mutt... Mutt is what Edward calls Jacob quite often. =P

**Twichild369:** The bio lab with the microscopes

Mike Newton was created in a lab because _he's_ the germ, not Edward.

**Reeeding fool:** Obviously the blood typing, biology labs you get it.

In BD Jacob says that he would try out for the Olympics, but they would have to do blood tests for and those go to a lab-right? (yup!)

**Blaxie:** Hmm, I'm kinda confused, do you mean the dogs (Labrador) or science? I'll do both! (all topics are open to your interpretation, so if I said 'weenie'…)

Labs are dogs. So are werewolves! Both are superly canine and whatnot:)

In the bio lab was where Bella first meets Edward, starting off the wonderful chain of events that we all love! If it weren't for that fateful lab, who knows how the story would have turned out? I shudder to imagine.

**Vampire chaud:** I hate you (not really, love) for making me think of Chemistry class the afternoon after I took that damn test... (well, I think that's what made me think of this topic, actually. But just think: CHEMISTRY IS F*#%$* OVER!)

Edward and Bella met over a biology lab...how romantic! (I wonder what Nessie will think of that?)

Labrador retrievers remind me of Mike and Jake!

**Author:** Bella though of Mike as a retriever, and I always confuse labs and retrievers for some reason.

What are blondes with brains? Yellow labs! (okay, I know it was supposed to be a golden retriever, but this fits)

Caius or Jane probably has a lab in which they conduct experiments to figure out better ways to cause humans pain and misery.

**MEMORY**

**Futureauthor62:** Vampires have amazing memories, but they can't remember their human lives very well. Those memories fade over time, but the rest of them stick with them for forever. They have memories the size of elephants.

**Twichild369:** Vampires have amazing memory.

Alice had no memory of her human life but she remembered her sister and her niece. Also, Alice's sister has my name. lol

**Reeeding fool:** Bella blocks her memories of Edward in NM.

The memory of anything pertaining to Twilight will always be with me (cheesy enough for you). (yes, yes I love it)

In the movie, Jacob says that they used to make mud pies and Bella says that she remembers and just random memories that Bella has of her mom, Charlie, Jacob etc.

**Blaxie:** Vampires don't really have much human memory. Remembering back then was like looking through dirty glass, or so I would imagine... or that crazy glass in bathroom mirrors!

Alice has none of her human life... I however, do. Not of her life, that would just be really crazy, but of my own, which is far less impressive.

I remember how AWESOME Twilight is to the max! (meeeeee toooo!)

**Author:** Renee can never remember anything (for example, her shirt being at the dry cleaner's).

In NM, Bella, in reference to Edward, was "terrified to remember, forbidden to forget", or at least I'm pretty sure that's how it goes.

**NEXT TOPICS:**

**PARAMEDICS**

**BULL**

**GRAPEFRUIT**


End file.
